Monday
Jan252010
last week's crumbs.
Monday, January 25, 2010 1. This message from Carrie popped up in Gchat, out of nowhere.
Carrie:
i'm drinking cinnamon roll flavored coffee. it's not that bad.
2. Walking back into the office after work, Matt and I commented on the smell of the hallway.
"It always smells like lasagna in this hallway," I said.
"Yeah? I think it smells like Chef Boyardee or something," he said back and we sniffed the air at the same time.
"Right, that's true," I said as we passed an open office door, "like cheap lasagna."
"There's a guy in that office, about to take a bite, thinking 'Hey! I made this.'"
"That makes me feel bad."
Later, this scene was elaborated on until this man, as we imagined him, had made this lasagna for the first time in his life using his dead mother's recipe. He was standing at the stove, asking the empty room what he does after laying down the noodles. Fast forward to the next day, him sitting at his desk alone, fork poised over his Tupperware when I so callously call the lasagna's smell cheap.
By the end of this "joke" my day was ruined.
3. Me, at home alone eating hummus. Swooped the cracker one way, attempted a double hummus application by swooping back the other way. Lost first hummus en route. "Hey, hey, wait, come back," I said out loud.
4. Pizza so good it wasn't even compromised by the office toaster oven. GQ famously agrees. Lindsay was kind enough to bring me leftovers, after admitting that she and her husband constructed an elaborate fantasy in which a serial killer used this very pizza to lure me and eventually murder me. Honestly, pizza would probably be high on the list of ways to bait me if you did want to trick me into my own death. I'm writing this under the assumption that my serial killer readership is small.
5. Shouldn't this exist everywhere?
Reader Comments (3)
2*- the olfactory pollen of a pastafarian?
Speaking of lunch smells:
I learned this the hard way. Do not bring kimchi for a brown bag lunch. As soon as you open the tupperware, your coworkers will evacuate, or whistle slowly, or make comments about dead rats.
Fermented cabbage is one of those foods that somehow manages to taste good despite smelling absolutely, pervasively awful. Despite the beautiful combo of spicy, briny, fishy pickled cabbage with a peanut butter sandwich, I capped my kimchi and saved it for later. How can one not feel humiliated about clearing the room?
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